I don’t know whose decision it was to hold part of the Tour de France in Yorkshire but it was a brave one.
Great, the whole world gets to see some of Britain’s finest and most diverse county, (he says without a trace of bias) but they’d better get a move on and get the bloody roads done.
Some of ours are awful.
The Tour de Yorkshire is skirting our village, climbing up some hills even my car moans about. One is called Jawbone Hill, probably because if you fall off you’ll break yours. We used to fly down it as kids on our bikes, it’s about a mile from top to bottom and our brakes would be like jelly by the time we reached the bottom. We pushed it up. Stuff that, it’s about a 33% incline in places or a one in three in old money.
Our roads have more holes in them than a Swiss cheese which will give the Swiss riders a slight advantage but they’ll need tank rims instead of the skinny little razor blade wheels they use normally.
Even the tractors are taking avoiding action around some potholes. I met a grit lorry coming out of one a few days ago, it had got stuck in there for a week.
The council used to install speed bumps to reduce speeding around the estates but have found it’s far cheaper to develop and nurture potholes, basically by abject neglect, resulting in average speeds dropping by the day. Moreso after a few days of downpour when miraculously the “speed holes” actually grow and become even more effective at no cost to the Council Tax payer. Apparently we should be happy.
Now they’ve got the cheek to put 20 mph signs up all round the village. Ha! Chance would be a fine thing, if you go over 20 mph you run the risk of your car falling to bits or at worst bouncing out of a pothole into the path of a tractor taking avoiding action coming in the opposite direction.
I’ve already broken one spring, the cost of £95 apparently not covered by the Council of Highways Agency because there was no conclusive evidence which of the ten thousand potholes it was in the village that caused the damage.
Sheffield Shitty Council’s Shiny Arsed Jobsworth’s Department grade potholes into three catagories: pinprick (3-6cm deep), dint (10-14cm deep) and slight indentation (double decker bus or larger). I actually park my car in one of the deeper ones, saves bothering about a theft alarm.
What the Highways Agency do is, send two blokes around with a lorry piled high with warm asphalt, two shovels and a map. Once they’ve found our village which usually takes them a couple of weeks, they look for potholes, and chuck a shovel load of asphalt into them, whack it flat with the shovel then find another one and so ad infinitum. We’ve got more patches on our road than a scale sized quilt of Yorkshire.
This is a cartoon, totally unrelated to speed bumps, pot holes or similar. My “step” niece sent it to me. Can there be a step niece?
Anyway, it basically says:
Hello, I’m a broccoli and I look like a tree.
Hello, I’m a walnut and I look like a brain.
Hello, I’m a mushroom and I don’t find this game funny.
Have a good weekend.